A Sad Day in Football: AC Milan 2:0 Barcelona

3 minutes
If you don’t understand satire,please don’t read this article.



I couldn’t believe my eyes when i saw the final score the next day morning. AC Milan 2-0 Barcelona!! How can a team which is the very definition of Anti-Football,Serie A ‘s Stoke City beat the great Barcelona. Then when i looked at the highlights then i realized as usual Milan cheated,conned and deceived and managed to stick two past the great Catalan side. Definitely one of the saddest days in football’s history,someone should stop this from happening again or otherwise football will die out. Maybe Xavi’s father should be made as UEFA’s technical director,then we won’t see such sham happening again.




The Pitch
Can the San Siro pitch be even called a football pitch?? It was a minefield,dug up to prevent Xavi from threading his classy through balls,to prevent Messi from going on his dazzling runs. Uefa should ban Milan from the Champions League for doing such kind of a thing. How will the true football lovers like me enjoy watching football when Xavi isn’t able to make more than 100 accurate passes. Who wants to see some Sulley Muntari score goals,football is at its best when Barca manage to pass the ball around freely. That is when the true football fans enjoy.

The Referee
I,just like the Barcelona players and coaching staff hate to talk about the Referee’s performance. But i will still talk.  How could he not see the clear Handball for the first goal and when Pedro went down in the penalty box,he didn’t even flinch his eye. Definitely he is part of a bigger plot probably involving Jose Mourinho and Tony Pulis the leaders of Anti-Football to stop Barcelona from winning. Further investigation has to be done to determine the true culprit,but as of now Mourinho remains the number 1 suspect.

Anti-Football
How can a team with such a glorious history, sit back and defend and that too in their home stadium. Such teams should be banned from playing football. Playing with ten men behind the ball is cheating,plain cheating,nothing else. That is not how you are supposed to play football. No class at all,if i was Michel Platini,i will call the second leg off and send the glorious tiki-taka playing Catalan giants into the next round. I wouldn’t want the true football fans to suffer another 90 minutes watching these Italian thugs playing Anti-Football.

Milan Fans

The San Siro faithful are classless fans who do not know the true meaning of football. They just care about the result,don’t care about how their team plays or how many passes their team makes. How can they support a team which doesn’t play with a False 9,shocking right?  Football doesn’t need these kind of fans,they are just spoiling the beautiful game. Seriously,someone has to explain to me what joy they get from cheering such a team.

Mario Balotelli
No club which signs such a classless player deserves to win against Barcelona.

Dont worry you Cules and the true football fans!
The second leg will be played in the holiest place of world football,where every pass is cheered,where good technique is praised and anti-football qualities like blocking and tackling are booed. The pitch will be perfect for Xavi to spread his passes around and for Messi to bamboozle defenders. Of course the referee probably again will be Jose Mourinho’s man,but as always the good people have to struggle against the odds and win. Spurred on by 90,000 of truest football fans,the protectors of true football will definitely give their best. And by if any chance the Italian thugs manage to hold out. Always remember what Pep Guardiola said.

                                               No of Passes completed > No of Goals scored.

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